Negative Pregnancy Test

Ever since I stopped taking the pill I always spot for 3-4 days before I get my period which usually comes on Wed but sometimes Thurs.  It was actually kind of nice to have a little bit of a warning before it arrived.  This time I didn’t have really any spotting but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  On Monday night I had a tiny bit of cramping and on Tuesday I had a very tiny bit of spotting.  I figured it was a sign that I wasn’t pregnant.  But it stopped.  And my period didn’t come on Wed.  I was still trying not to get my hopes up but I was dying with anticipation. I got a pregnancy test and took it this morning.  It was negative.  

I felt pretty sad but there was nothing to be done about it.  What are the chances of getting pregnant the first month of trying anyway?  Joe told me not to feel sad.  That we’ll just try again next month.  I know it was early to test on the first day of a missed period so I was kind of holding out hope that maybe it was a false negative.  At work I felt nauseous all day.  I know nausea doesn’t start for 4-5 weeks so I figured I was just making myself sick and sad.  Maybe because I wanted it so badly it was all in my mind.  I randomly broke down and cried for a couple minutes.  Odd and not really something I would tell people but I just felt sad.  It’s kind of ridiculous in hindsight to get so sad so early on but it’s something I’ve wanted for so long and struggled with whether or not it would ever happen for me.  I thought that I’d mentally prepared myself that it would take 6 months to a year of trying before success so it's kind of embarrassing to admit I cried for a couple minutes over it.  Not being successful the first month of trying should pretty much be expected.